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  • Writer's pictureJuliet Martine


I was talking with a friend recently who’d been experiencing ongoing difficulties with her ex-husband and also a neighbour who was proving extremely challenging. She’d found herself getting angry and upset as old buttons were pushed and emotional patterns reactivated. ‘I read somewhere that if you’re upset with another person, if you imagine sending love and light to them it can help. So I’ve been doing that and it seems to be making me feel less upset. But I’m worried it might stop working,’ she laughed nervously.

If we find our buttons being pushed by someone, it’s not the other person we need to send love and light to. It’s our Self.

It’s so easy to get caught in the illusion we’re such a wonderful person when we send loving energy to other people. However, sending loving energy to someone who hasn’t asked for it and may not actually want to receive it from us means we're exerting our free will over theirs. Which is not our right. And often we do it with a holier-than-thou stance that is simply our ego needing to feel superior because we feel hurt in some way.

If someone pushes our buttons and we find ourself reacting, we’re the one that is hurting, and we’re the one that is in need of healing. The other person may well be having a merry old time lashing out at us and expressing themselves however they wish. However if we find ourself in reaction mode, it means old wounds have been activate and we're being shown what parts of our self we need to bring loving energy to.

Truth is, when we feel whole and complete other people can say and do what they like and it doesn't have an affect on us. When we love and accept ourself fully and feel nothing but unconditional love for ourself, people can tap dance right in front of us and say and do the most annoying and disrespectful things, and we simply look at them in the knowing that that’s their stuff, not ours. The other person can be however they want to be, because that’s their life and not who we are.

Things only affect us when we give them power. And the only reason we give other people's ‘stuff’ any power over us, is when we buy into their stories and perceptions and lose sight of who and what we truly are.

The only reason we need to forgive someone else of something they may have said or done that has annoyed or hurt us is if we’re holding on to a part of ourself that has not yet fully healed. It’s our job to love ourself more and to uncover those parts of self that are reacting so that we can be healed. Then we can truly thank the other person for helping us to reclaim that part of self that was wounded, and for helping us to heal and become more whole within ourself.

So the next time someone annoys you or gets you going, take it as a sign you need to love yourself more. That there’s a part of you that has a false perception of self and needs to be healed and brought into alignment with the greater magnificence of who you truly are. And then take responsibility for that by taking a moment to really connect in with your heart and imagine embracing yourself with loving arms and a deep deep deep sense of love for the person that you are. Say to yourself ‘I love you (insert your name). You are a beautiful human being, and whatever part of you is hurting right now, I love that part of you even more. I love you, I love you, I love you.’

Love heals all wounds. It’s just that sometimes we’re so focused on other people not being the way we want them to be, we forget to see where we ourself may be in need of some healing and love. Love yourself more and more each day, send yourself loving light with each breath, and you’ll find you feel stronger and happier within yourself. And perhaps, just perhaps, other people may start to

miraculously annoy you less and less.


*** Permission is expressly given by the author to reprint this blog post in all print, broadcast and electronic media provided that it is reprinted in full exactly as it appears above with no changes to

text or headings, and that the author is credited as follows with hyperlinks activated in all electronic media:    ‘Written by Juliet Martine – Energy Healer, Spiritual Teacher & Author,‘ ***


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