Not loving ourselves can play out in so many different areas of our lives. One of the most common areas is through our RELATIONSHIPS. Our family relationships, social relationships, and/or our intimate relationships.
Wherever we go our self love or LACK of self love goes with us. If we believe we’re not good enough, that we’re inadequate, or that we’re lacking in any way, then our lack of self love will cause us to assume others see us as lacking and inadequate also. Which then causes us to be fearful on a subconscious level that other people won’t like us or want to be with us.
All of which means that we’ll then try to protect ourselves by:
1 – Avoiding meeting new people or making new friends (because we believe other people wouldn’t wantto be friends with us)
2 – Remaining in damaging or unhealthy relationships (because we believe other people wouldn’t want to love us)
3 – Seeking constant reassurance from people we’re in relationship with (because we feel insecure that people will want to leave us), or
4 – Testing people’s love for us by picking arguments, making accusations, and/or creating dramas (because we believe we’re not actually lovable in the first place).
Of course, the more we try to protect ourselves in these unhealthy ways, the more we end up being either socially isolated, treated poorly by others, or else driving people away through suffocating or frustrating behaviours on our part. None of which help us to be happy in life. Secure yes. But happy no.
CHANGE YOUR PATTERNS
If you want to stop sabotaging your relationships and develop healthier, happier patterns in your life, the first step is to start LOVING YOURSELF MORE.
Until you can learn to love yourself more, it doesn’t matter how much other people love you or try to prove their love to you, you’re never going to actually let them in or believe in them until you realise that you are actually LOVEABLE and WORTHY of being loved yourself.
Create a loving relationship with yourself first, and the relationships you have with other people will become more loving also. And more respectful. And more honest. And more beautiful. And more FUN !!!
Because that’s how love expresses itself. Through honesty, respect, beauty, and fun. And that’s the kind of loving relationship you can have not just with other people, but with YOURSELF also.
Love yourself FIRST and everything else will flow from there.
Until next time…
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'Written by healer and author Juliet Martine, www.julietmartine.com'