Break Free from Self Sabotage and Unlock Your Potential

Dear Soul,

We all sabotage ourselves from time to time. There’s no denying it. We do it whenever we think thoughts, feel emotions, or take actions that limit or hinder us and take us in the opposite direction to where we’d like to be going.

Whether its telling ourselves we’re not smart enough, attractive enough, or experienced enough when we’re going on a date or applying for a new job... whether its allowing ourself to get angry and pick a fight with our partner when they’re trying to get close to us... or whether its eating a packet of chocolate biscuits when we’re trying to get healthier or lose weight... we all undermine our own efforts from time to time in different ways.

So how can we turn our self sabotaging thoughts, words and actions around so we stop hindering and start helping ourselves more?

Think of self sabotage as being like a best friend. A best friend we really care about and love. A best friend that’s hurting and trying to get our attention, and needs our help. Because deep down, that’s exactly what’s going on.

Whatever is causing our patterns of self sabotage to arise in the first place, there’s a part of our self that we’ve rejected in some way that's wanting to be healed. When we stop resisting and fighting with that spect of our self and instead we start to befriend it, then we can then move into a place of more loving wholeness within ourself and reintegrate the fullness of who we really are, from the depths of our being.

Next time you find yourself thinking thoughts, or feeling emotions, or taking actions that sabotage or limit you in some way, think of them as being like a really good friend you care about and love. Make the decision you want to get to know them better so you can help them. Sit with that part of you that is activating the sabotaging pattern and ask them what the underlying hurt is. Be curious to uncover their story and where the protective pattern might be stemming from. Ask that part of you what they believe about you, about life, about who, what or where these beliefs come from.

Then love that part of you for being courageous enough to share their truth with you. With love in your heart, check in with them to see if their beliefs are actually true, or if they are simply stories that they've created or taken on from someone else, that no longer serve them.

As we challenge the source of our limiting beliefs, we usually find they are not actually true, they are just stories that we've given power to by choosing to believe them. Rarely are they 100% God-given-absolute-facts.

Then ask that part of your self the following questions:

1. What new stories would it like to write if it were loving itself more?

2. What does it need in order to heal its wounds and feel a greater sense of peace and harmony?

3. What new feelings would it like to be feeling as part of the new stories it wants to write? and

4. What new actions does it need to take in order to move forward in the direction it would like your life to head?

Whatever wisdom comes, reassure that inner part of you that you will now support it by reminding yourself of these new thoughts, feelings and actions as often as possible.

Then take a moment or two to brainstorm some fun and creative ways to do so.

Write some positive affirmations and stick them on your bathroom mirror, saying them to yourself as you look into your own eyes every morning with love, reinforcing your new beliefs about yourself.

Remember a time in your life when you've felt these positive feelings before and commit to remembering those occasions three times a day, really enjoying being there fully in your imagination to reconnect with the positive feelings.

Decide what actions you're going to take and then have fun doing them, such as going for a walk with a friend, taking yourself for a massage, or having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one to heal and move forward.

Whatever ideas come to you, do them with a sense of love in your heart in the knowing that you're changing your patterns, transforming your own sabotage into support, and helping yourself move forward with wholeness, healing and reconnection with the beauty that’s inside of you. For you are truly beautiful, inside and out. It’s just that sometimes we all need a best friend to remind us of that.

With fierce love, radiant joy, heartfelt compassion, infinite curiosity, and unwavering truth,

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